The Void Speaks

To my ex

I still check your location even though I deleted the app. I reinstalled it just to see the little dot. It was in a part of the city we used to go to together. I closed the app and cried for the first time in months.

To my crush

You laughed at my joke today and I replayed it in my head for the rest of the afternoon. You probably don't even remember saying it.

To someone I lost

It's been three years and I still hear songs that remind me of you. Not sad songs. Happy ones. That's the part that breaks me — how happy we were.

To my ex

I don't hate you. I don't even miss you the way I used to. I just hope you're happy. That's it. That's the whole message.

To my crush

I've been writing this message in my head for four months. Every version sounds wrong. This one probably does too. I like you. That's it. That's all I've been trying to say.

To someone I lost

You moved cities and I'm still here eating at the same restaurant we used to go to. I order for two sometimes. The waiter never says anything.

To my ex

Your hoodie is still in my closet. I've washed it twice. It doesn't smell like you anymore. I keep it anyway.

To my crush

You texted me 'hey' last night and I stared at my phone for 40 minutes trying to write back something that didn't sound desperate. I sent 'hey' back. I'm an idiot.

To someone I lost

I saw someone who looked like you on the train today. I almost said your name. I had to get off two stops early and sit on a bench until the shaking stopped.